Shark Night 3D

PG-13 for sexual undertones, man-eating-shark overtones


If you’re not careful, you’ll miss the key moment in this trailer, at 1:17:

PANICKED GUY: This is insane! This is a lake!
OTHER GUY: (grimly) A salt water lake.

It’s this kind of attention to scientific detail that sets Shark Night 3D apart. Less conscientious filmmakers might have failed to read the first two paragraphs of the Wikipedia page on sharks, but the producers of Shark Night 3D are determined to get the science right. Witness:

PANICKED GUY: This is absurd! That’s a dog!
OTHER GUY: (grimly) A purebred dog.

PANICKED GUY: This is preposterous! It’s dark outside!
OTHER GUY: (grimly) And according to my calculations, it won’t be light again for another nine hours.

PANICKED GUY: This is implausible! That shark victim’s detached head is screaming for help!
OTHER GUY (grimly): Screaming through its mouth.

Puzzle of the Day: What valuable scientific lessons have you learned from horror films?

4 thoughts on “Shark Night 3D

  1. Wouldn’t most of their problems be solved if they would stop swimming in the shark-infested lake? This point does not seem to be addressed by the trailer.

    • Maybe they kept forgetting about the sharks until they’d already gone back in?

      Whatever process they use to infer the IQs of historical figures (Thomas Jefferson’s was like a 200, right?), I would love to see them do the same for horror movie characters.

    • …and that’s why you have to see the movie. There must be some foolproof logic behind it. My guess: someone from the shore kept double dog daring them. (Have YOU ever turned down a double dog dare?)

      Also: another one where the black guy dies first? Is this because, once someone falls victim to a fatal shark attack, the black guys would stop swimming in the shark-infested waters?

  2. Pingback: Loved It: The Clockwork Palace in Hugo | PG-13 for Ugly Cast

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