R for manly screams, disembowelment, prolonging the three-year drought since Freida Pinto has seen a half-decent script
Release Date: November 11, 2011
It’s taken 2500 years, but finally, the Greeks can see their myths as they always imagined them: gory, derivative, and poorly scripted.
“Yes, perfect,” the Greeks are saying now from their heavenly ambrosia farms. “We always imagined that battle scene looking just like Helm’s Deep from Lord of the Rings.”
Then they clap their hands and praise Tarsam Singh as the ideal choice for director, pointing to quotes from him describing the film as a “hardcore action film done in Renaissance painting style” and “a bit like Baz Luhrman doing Romeo + Juliet in Mexico.”
“That’s always how we pictured the aesthetic,” smile the Greeks as they sip nectar cocktails. “Like an Australian director doing an American reinterpretation of a British play set in Mexico. We can’t wait for this one.”