PG-13 for aerial combat, dangerously sharp propellers, incredulous racists who don’t believe that black fighter pilots can help our nation’s box office totals
Release Date: January 20, 2012
If the aerial fight scenes, lovable underdogs, and cheering pilots didn’t already make it clear, let me spell it out for you. George Lucas has made the best decision of his post-1989 career, which is to remake Star Wars with the following three updates:
- Fewer space aliens.
- More black people.
- Absolutely no Mark Hamill.
If you’re half as excited about this as I am, please join me in celebration by high-fiving your computer screen right now.
Also worth noting: George Lucas neither wrote nor directed this movie, which rank as the second- and third-best decisions of his post-1989 career. Instead, he produces, and Lucasfilm distributes, and everybody wins, except possibly racists. I’ll admit it’s worrying that the studio chose to release this film during January, which is the industry’s designated time to deposit failed films and accidental corpses while nobody is paying attention. But hey, as long as Cuba Gooding, Jr. gives me one “Red leader, standing by,” I’ll be happy.
PG-13 for Ugly Cast 