This Oscar season, PG-13 for Ugly Cast will be flipping a cordial bird to the arbitrary practice of rank-ordering movies. Instead, we will highlight a handful of Movie Things We Loved, with no pretense of objectivity or internal consistency. Deal with it.
As scientists work to identify the fundamental particles of the universe, I’ve been busy identifying the fundamental particles of awesomeness. And the climax of Rise of Planet of the Apes, with the newly sentient heroes charging across the Golden Gate Bridge, has literally all of them. For reference, the particles of awesomeness are:
Chimpanzees
- Violence
- Beautiful red bridges
- Large bodies of water
- The San Francisco Bay Area
- Suspenseful fog
- Andy Serkis in a motion-capture performance
- Oppressors getting their comeuppance
- Action set-pieces in which the characters have a simple, clearly stated objective
- James Franco
- James Franco in mortal danger
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