“ATM”: Is it Still Safe to Withdraw Cash in a Vacant, Poorly-Lit Lot on the Bad Side of Town?

R for dim parking lots, slow-witted victims, a misunderstood killer who’s only seeking affection and possibly cash

Release Date: April 6, 2012


Ahem. My ATM-inspired stand-up routine:

So, a protagonist, a hot blonde, and a worthless friend walk into an ATM. The protagonist says, “Hey, it’s cold outside,” and the worthless friend says, “I’m probably going to die by the end of this movie.” The hot blonde stands around. Zing!

And why do they call ’em ATM machines, huh? ’cause the M already stands for “machine,” so it’s like saying “Automatic Teller Machine machine.” Amiright, guys?

By the way, if you thought that last joke was stale and uninspired, just wait until you see ATM! Coming April 2012. Don’t hold your breath.

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