“The Three Stooges” Asks Us to Imagine a World Where This Movie Makes an Ounce of Sense

PG for putting the “crap” in “slapstick,” meaning that it now must be spelled “slapsticrapck”

Release Date: April 13, 2012

 

Originally, this movie was going to star Sean Penn, Jim Carrey, and Benicio del Toro – an admittedly intriguing cast. But Penn dropped out to focus on non-profit work in Haiti; Carrey dropped out because he got squeamish about gaining 70 pounds for the part; and del Toro dropped out after telling the producers “Hey, look over there!” and scampering off.

And at that point, you kill the film, right?

Right?

Right. You would kill it. So would I. So would any humane veterinarian. But not the Farrelly Brothers. No, they believe that any movie is precious, even an unborn movie, even if it seems to have been conceived in some drunken encounter in the backseat of an LA taxicab in 1994, a year when it already would have looked tone-deaf and retrograde.

But let us not blame the Farrelly Brothers alone. It takes a village to raise a monster, and there is scorn aplenty to go around.

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