“Lockout”: Everything Is Better… In SPACE

PG-13 for the cryogenic freezing of the criminally insane – a strategy which cannot possibly go wrong

Release Date: April 13, 2012

Ah, space. It makes everything better.


Prisons are more secure. Prison breaks, more deadly. Buttons glow brighter. Lighting sets a better mood.

Women are prettier in space; their hair, blonder; their fathers, more powerful; the working-class men who rescue them, more cocksure.

In space, old cliches gain new life. “The president’s daughter is in mortal danger”? Boring. How about: “The president’s daughter is in mortal danger in a SPACE PRISON”?

“He’s the best there is, but he’s a loose cannon”? I’m sorry, sir, I believe you mean, “He’s a loose cannon ASTRONAUT SPY.”

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